demon: i possessed you
me: get the fuck out
demon: damn...aight...rude ass bitch...i just need a place to stay my girl kicked me out and i aint got no money...
me: shit man, you can stay but don't be spinning my head like an owl and shit
liverdisaster:

Drunk bug-eyed princess

drowningheta:

gallifreyburning:

giraffepoliceforce:

I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife.

They were expecting military resistance. They weren’t counting on bears.

image

Canada’s time to shine has come

(via apleasantsociety)

When someone won’t let you in, eventually you stop knocking.
- Ransom Riggs, Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children  (via dylinquent)

(Source: larmoyante, via sex-like-a-nympho)

poppunk-and-junk:

AND THAT’S WHEN I KNEW I WAS DEAD
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